So you don't drop any kids off at the pool.

Didja hear the news? Activia yogurt brings you back to an active lifestyle!

According to the commercial, if you're having diarrhea to the point where you can lounge poolside in a swimsuit, but not actually swim, all you have to do is eat some Activia, and BOOM! All better.

Whoa.

we saw 1 of these in our backyard yesterday. It is one scary looking motherf*er!

Pretty picture.

Doesn't this post make me look all edumacated and whatnot?

I'm the BEST.

Today I received the POttery Barn catalog in the mail, which was labeled "Best Customer Edition." Huh. What does one have to do to qualify as a Best Customer? Haven't bought anything from there since, oh, 2006. And how many other editions are there? Crappy Customer? CHeap-Ass Customer? MEdiocre Customer?

I don't care about your stupid carbon footprint...

I hate cyclists today. why? because some of them think that just b/c they are laminated in spandex and saving the world b/c of their non-usage of gas that they are therefore immune to the rules of the road. in this town, where you can spit and hit a scenic bike trail from pretty much ANYWHERE, the excuse of "i have nowhere else to ride but directly in front of your car" falls on deaf ears. swear to god, the next time a cyclist runs a stop sign in front of my car, they will then be running scared from my wrath.

Congratulations.

So we're sitting at storytime at the library, where the Story Lady is doing a rhyming bit on the felt board, trying to get the kids to guess the second word in the rhyme. She's trying to get them the guess "hen in a pen." They got hen, but silence soon followed. The silence was then broken by an overeager mom belting out, "Pen!!!"

And I'm all, "congratulations, lady, you smoked a bunch of 3 year olds. Way to go!"

In other, unrelated news, why is it that I can't download any GD Ace of Base from Itunes???

Why I'm not the world's worst mom...

1) You will not find a pack of cigs and a lighter in the side pocket of my diaper bag ( as seen at the park this week);
2) You'll not find me taking the little Vos out for ice cream on Mother's Day with a 12-pack of Coors Light (as seen in May).
3) Neither Vo will ever touch the floor in the pediatrician's office. Or any of the toys there. Or come within 10 feet of a sippy cup of juice that had been rolling around on the floor there (as seen at every visit).