Young lookin' folks.

T-Vo got carded while we were out to dinner the other night. And _I_ got carded at the grocery store after waddling up to the checkout counter in all my pregtastic glory, with a 2 year old in tow. AWWWWWW. Yee.

Dincha know?

That the best way to fight type 2 diabetes is to smear mustard on your face and look like a dumbass?

And the best way to fight type 1 diabetes is to smear BBQ sauce on your face, in a similar distribution.

Nice.

I hope that the piece of crap who stole the parking space that I was waiting for at church yesterday is pleased with himself. He can be content with the fact that:

• he stole a parking spot at CHURCH, for god's sake;
• from a pregnant mom who was there with only her 2-year-old;
• and made her park across the street and up the block.

Jerk. Face.

It's official...

New-Vo has been christened by the blog community as:

BrettFavre Oshkosh Vo.

Nice!

Hee hee.

I think that it would pretty awesome if Barack Obama chose Joe Lieberman as his running mate.

Because then you could call them "Jobama" and make up campaign songs that rhymed it with "yo' mama."

Awesome.

Whoa.

Here's a picture of my granddad, circa 1928.

Apparently, dressing up your child in ridiculous outfits and taking pictures for future blackmail purposes was all the rage back then.

Here's another:

I don't think any reader to should be surprised to learn that my granddad and his mother had a rather tempestous relationship once he reached adulthood...

Once is a fluke, twice is a pattern.

I have now had not 1, but TWO hits on my blog for the search term "World's greatest asses."

Awesome.

Call me a prude, but...

It's now societally acceptable to have "Your Va-jay-jay" in 36-point print on the cover of Cosmo? Really? Is it because TMZ and the like have actually shown PHOTOS of various celebrities' va-jay-jays when caught going commando, so now that the ice is broken, we can trumpet it from the mountaintops?

I'm also amused by the subtitle, regarding the fascinating new facts about the VJJ. Because apparently there's been a great deal of groundbreaking research on the VJJ recently. I guess there's no better scientific forum to publish said facts than in Cosmo.

To go with drunken shrimp:

I've always thought that the name of these crackers was especially hilarious- it brings to mind a bunch of Wheat Thins being pelted with rocks as punishment for shaming their family, or a bunch of wheat thins passing around a bong and discussing Kierkegard.

The masses have spoken...

And NewVo's middle name will be "Oshkosh." Now you can vote on her first name...

Grocery store serenade

Today, A-Vo and I went to the grocery store, as is our custom on Mondays. We were in the flour aisle, where I was feverishly perusing the selection. A-Vo took the opportunity to bust into a heartfelt, passionate rendition of "Go Tell it On the Mountain," which is one of her favorites. I helped her out by keeping time and chiming in here and there as I was comparing flour. Then I looked up and saw an 80+ year-old couple standing in the aisle next to us, staring at us with mouths agape with wonder.

So I said, "We believe in celebrating Christmas all year long." And A-Vo kept on a-singing and I kept on a-conducting.

You really just stop caring about what other people think of you (or what you look like, for that matter!) once you start popping out babies.

A word from A-Vo:

nmnn d bdmknn/c ..z.x,,m nz?X/ mznxbz cbv bcbxh vvvvccccccccccc vb mfgvn mmmmmmm ,./l bv cxnv m, m , mb , aaaa a A'P, BXV BZV B NJMN CXXXXXXXXXXXX V VXCVVFXD N
03/

361

Here she is...

New-Vo! A-Vo was pretty psyched to watch her little sister on the TV. She was of the opinion that New-Vo looks like a turtle.


Don't forget to vote for New-Vo's middle name!

Not always filled with glitz and glamour.

After watching such programs as "Grey's Anatomy" and "ER," people may come to the mistaken conclusion that hospital medicine is all sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Not so. Case in point:

Last night, T-Vo was on call for the ICU. This can mean one of several things: frequent, annoying pages, emergencies requiring his immediate departure from home and preventing his return until the next day, and just garden-variety lifesaving in general. He received a call last night about a patient who was intubated, sedated, on a ventilator, and was being fed through a tube in his nose.

What was the problem, you may ask. Was he having a heart attack? Did he have a dangerous, potentially-fatal heart arrhythmia? Was he in multi-organ failure?

No. He was making stinky farts, and the floor staff couldn't take it anymore.

Never fear. He saved the day by changing the type of nutrition the guy was getting.

Yep. Medicine. Saving lives one day, fixing stinky farts the next. They should make that the motto of the AMA.

I made up a joke:

Q: What did J-Vo say to the spineless fruit farmer?

A: OMG, grow a pear!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HAHAHAHAHAHA. I kill me.