What 3rd commandment?

It has come to my attention that at least 2 alumni from OAM have become homewreckers (don't ask, because I'm not going to tell you. I probably already have, anyway). Ever the optimist, I think this could be used positively in admissions pamphlets:

"Worried that you might graduate as just as big of nerd as you were when you started OAM? Don't worry- our alumni homewrecker quotient is on par for the national average of other small liberal colleges. You are guaranteed a future of getting some, no matter what!"