What's in YOUR drawer?

The Vo family likes cheese. A LOT. Here is a list of all the different types of cheese currently located in our cheese drawer:

• shredded 4-cheese Mexican blend
• Neufchatel
• string cheese
• mozzarella
• ricotta
• Parmesan
• queso blanco
• Australian cheddar
• cream cheese
• shredded Co-Jack
• deli-style sliced Co-Jack
• deli-style sliced Provolone
• Fancy Nacho and Taco blend
• shredded 6-cheese Italian
• garlic and herb gournay cheese
• onion-flavored pasteurized cheese spread

We have a strong commitment to dairy products around here.

Dust off the couture.

As you may know, part of the fun of painting your toenails is appreciating the name of the polish color. I am currently wearing "Celebrity Bash."

I expect the invitations to start flooding in anytime now.

What 3rd commandment?

It has come to my attention that at least 2 alumni from OAM have become homewreckers (don't ask, because I'm not going to tell you. I probably already have, anyway). Ever the optimist, I think this could be used positively in admissions pamphlets:

"Worried that you might graduate as just as big of nerd as you were when you started OAM? Don't worry- our alumni homewrecker quotient is on par for the national average of other small liberal colleges. You are guaranteed a future of getting some, no matter what!"

Word.

A few weeks ago, the Vo family was at church, and A-Vo decided she had pretty much had enough about halfway through. So she and I went on walk around the back of the sanctuary. We stopped at the rack of notes people had written regarding things that wanted us all to pray for. One particularly memorable request went as follows:

"Help me in my ongoing battle against the evildoers that surround me."

Can't argue with that one.

Happy blogday to T-Bone!

Today, my friend T-Bone learned what a blog is, so can you all join me in a big, hearty welcome to the world of blogs to T-Bone?

What up, T? Here's to a future of wasting many an odd hour reading blogs while you should be reading!!

New house rule:

No kung fu kicking in the bathtub.

Who hasn't, except for philistines?

A quote from Rich Mommy Magazine (which I subscribe to because it is highly entertaining, rather than actually relevant):

"During the agriculturally bleak months, you see magazines and TV chefs offering advice on how to doctor up your vegetables to make them more appealing not only to your children but to you.

Who among us has not broiled mealy midwinter plum tomatoes with that "dusting of sugar?" "



Who hasn't, indeed? Gawd!

I'll do ya one better, little girl.

Today, while shopping, A-Vo was en fuego. First, at Target, she greeted family in the sporting goods section with an indigant, "Hel-LO!!" as if she had been standing there, completely ignored by them, for 2 hours. Then later, at the shoe store, she was happily rummaging through my purse while I browsed- when I looked back at her moments later, she was proudly waving 2 tampons around in great triumph and delight.

Have your fun now, little one! Embarrass me now!!! Give it your best shot, because before you know it, I'll be chaperoning your senior prom while wearing a hippie Ecuadorian skirt, black socks with Tevas, unshowered, doing the cabbage patch, running man, and worm while yelling "I'M A-VO'S MOM!!!" at the top of my lungs.

Exceptionally slow lane

Today at Target, A-Vo and I were making our weekly run for diapers, wipes, and cereal. Apparently, so was the rest of the civilized world. When we arrived at the checkout, it was disheartening to see that each line stretched for miles around the store. That's when we had the brilliant idea to utilize the express lane, since we had far fewer than 10 items. This strategy was completely blown to crap when the checker asked the guy 2 people in front of us if he wanted to apply for a Target credit card. Hel-LO! Idiots! The point of an EXPRESS lane is to go QUICKLY, and waiting for some dude to be approved for his Target credit card is not my idea of in-and-out service. And for god's sake! Getting the 15% discount on your purchase is only worthwhile if you are making a big-ticket purchase, which in the express lane would equate to 3 iPods and 6 digital cameras, neither of which were in his cart.

So, about 4 days later, we collected our diapers and went on our way- none the worse for the wear, but certainly having lost faith in the sanctity of the express lane.

Still hip after all these years.

One Friday night, as T-Vo and I were preparing to go to bed at 10 PM, T-Vo commented to me about how unhip we have become. But oh no! I refuse to give up on being hip. Just because I might go to bed early a time or 2 does not mean that the coolness ship has sailed. Read below as to why we're still hip:

1) I can tell you the first and middle names of both of Britney Spears' children.

2) While I might not have ever been to Les Deux, Area, Hyde, or Chateau Marmont, I do know that they are seriously hip clubs in LA.

3) While I might not have ever worn Dolce and Gabbana, Juicy Couture, or Seven Jeans, I do know that they Hot Items to own by LA's A-list.

4) My I-pod contains songs by Guster, Gomez, and Amy Winehouse. This one counts for 2, huh?

5) I have a Razr phone (granted, it is not encrusted with Swarovski crystals, but it still rocks).

6) Anna has a shirt that says, "My mommy is a rock star."

7) T-Vo has a 2-door car, and neither of us own a minivan or an SUV.

8) We saw Babel and thought that it was derivative.

9) I use words like "derivative" and "factotum."

10) T-Vo's 22 y/o brother actually enjoys hanging out with us (well, he might be pretending just so that he can play with his favorite niece...hmmm).

So, yeah. Still hip, suckaz! Domesticity will never suck the hipness out of THIS family!

11) Note the usage of "Suckaz." Seriously, seriously, mad dope hip!

Totally traumatized

So A-Vo turns on the radio this morning (yes, she can actually DO that!) and out comes "Love Shack." Naturally, A-Vo and I get our groove on and start busting out the sweet dance moves (who wouldn't?). Imagine my shock, dismay, and horror when the DJ comes on and then thanks us for listening to WWWW, "you favorite oldies station." !!!!!

What the frick frackin' F man? The B-52's are NOT oldies!!!!

I have half a mind to compose a strongly worded letter regarding their choice of programming.